What we have been waiting for …..

Written by mummybird. Posted in ASD, The Birds

At the beginning of December last year we had our appointment at the hospital to find out where Little Bird sits on the ASD scale. It had been a long wait to get this appointment but after 2 years we were pleased it was finally here. The hospital met Little Bird for a 45 minute assessment where he was asked questions whilst they played with him. I do not really know what happened in that room as Little Bird did not talk about it afterwards but he came out happy and was not phased by the meeting at all.

A week later I went back to the hospital for an intense meeting to talk about my boy. I was at the hospital for about 4 hours and I was surprised to learn when I arrived that before I left that day I would have a diagnosis.

The meeting was in a relaxed environment where an Consultant in Developmental Psychiatry asked me loads of questions about Little Bird. At times I had to dig deep for answers as they asked me questions about when he was a baby and growing up. I was given two breaks during the meeting to go out and take a breather. It was an tense 4 hours but after the last break I was delivered the news I had been waiting over 2 years for.

Little Bird has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome it was what I had expected but it still hit me hard finally hearing the words to describe my child. I spent about 45 minutes discussing it with the consultant and was reassured I would have help whenever I needed it now that we were in the system.

As a parent its really hard hearing that your child is different, even though I thought Little Bird had Aspergers I chose to not read anything about it. It was not because I was burying my head in the sand I just knew if I started to research it my head would spin with the information that is out there and I did not want to read things that were nothing to do with my child so I waited. I wanted to wait until I knew what the diagnosis was before I looked any further into it and I am glad I did.

When we had our first initial appointment nearly two years ago they told us they believed Little Bird was somewhere on the ASD scale. I walked away from that meeting feeling calm and feeling I needed to try even harder to do the best for my child, so I changed the way I was with him but decided I needed to carry on with how I was bringing him up.

Little Bird does not know he has Aspergers, the assessments he has had done we told him were just developmental appointments to see how he is growing up. They did tell me that he will ask me a question one day and that would be my time to tell him, it is likely to be around when he is 10 years old. They advised me that telling a child they have Aspergers is actually easier than you would think because they are wired slightly different and normally they just accept it without to much thought about it. I do hope this is the case when the time comes to tell Little Bird, knowing how he is already I am sure he will be fine about it.

I personally feel like I want other people to be aware of Aspergers, I want other people to understand that children are all different and to not judge a book by its cover. Living with a child with Aspergers is really difficult, it changes the way your family runs because you have to live you life around their needs. You have to put that child first before you plan or do anything because it does effect everyone around them.

Since the appointment at the hospital in December life with Little Bird has become harder, I do not know if its a coincidence or just him getting older but things have changed. At the moment I struggle to manage his behaviour, I have always been strict with both of the children but I learnt 2 years ago that getting cross or raising your voice with Little Bird does not help him or me so I do not do it with him.

Little Bird is the same loving and caring boy that hes always been but that only seems to be with me. I know another lady in my area who’s son is younger than Little Bird and has been diagnosed with Aspergers and he does not kiss or cuddle his mum or show her any affection ever. I feel lucky that I get that from Little Bird or else it would make my job a whole lot harder.

I know all children need their parents you but when I look in my boys eyes I sense he needs me more than any other child. I find myself speaking for him when we are out and I feel like I have to watch him with everything he does and everywhere he goes. Little Bird is a very clever little boy, hes in all the top sets at school and is doing incredibly well, in the last 18 months hes come on in leaps and bounds and I couldn’t be happier its just the social side of life and communication with others that he struggles with.

Dealing with Aspergers is a learning curve in my life, I’ve learnt a lot but still have so much more to learn. I feel like I need to blog about my life with my boy and how we learn to move forward. Please get in contact if you would like to talk or your in the same position as us …. Living with Aspergers.

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Comments (1)

  • Sonia Constant


    I am so so glad you got your diagnosis and you can move forward and help little bird now :)

    Good on you for writing about it too. It would be a lonely world if you had to do it alone.

    Big hugs xxxx


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